Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
