No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
