And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Dick very happy bro
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
