I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
