Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
