the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We don't watch enough power rangers
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
