i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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