wat bout pragnant strippers??
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
