Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
