Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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