using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
