At least make sure they are 18
Why
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
