is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
