She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
