why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
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