Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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