So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
