He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
