So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
We had sex on a dog bed..
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
