Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
