I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize