i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
