Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
