I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
