I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
