and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
