Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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