If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
