I forgot how hot balto sounded
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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