In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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