ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
