i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
