if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
