you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
