bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
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