He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
