I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
