Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
he puts the penis in happiness.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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