Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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