Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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