I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize