Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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