I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
