Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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