I didn't shave. On purpose
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
