she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
