He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Randomize
