did you get engaged???
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Randomize
