Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
