I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i love accidental penises.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
