You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
