your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
