Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
