I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Banned from zoo.
Again?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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