I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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