I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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