im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
