i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
