Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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