My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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