Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
