Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
