I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
