Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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