You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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